Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
