I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
