dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
