I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
