i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
