The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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