He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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