Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize