So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
