I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
