yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
