people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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