This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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