Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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