i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize