Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
