I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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