I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
