So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
