It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize