I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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