Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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