You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
