Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
