well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize