for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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