i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want a musical about memes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
