He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
