K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
