Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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