that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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