I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
