My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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