I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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