Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Pooping to opera.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
