Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
