Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
