How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
