why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
