That's intense
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
