He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
