Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
