hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
