Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
