wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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