Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
