Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
