What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
