you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
