biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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