based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
