I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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