I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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