My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
