She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
