DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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