So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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