Don't you send me to vm
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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