I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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