i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
