hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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