Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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