didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want to be your penis for a week.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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