my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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