she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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