Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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