it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
