no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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